Sharing in Filipino :
Culture
Are you being taken advantage of because you’re a foreigner. The answer is no.
However, I think some clarification may be in order. While sharing is a big part of Filipino culture, I don’t think asking for people to share is a part of the Filipino culture for most. Offering to share is part of the Filipino culture.
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Filipino Culture At Duty Free Cebu
The temptation to ask for help can be strong though. Suppose you are rich in the USA. Do you think people will not be asking for favors? Suppose you win the lotto in the USA? You hear of people that do, suddenly hearing from relatives they haven’t been in contact for decades. These lucky winners usually mention that everyone wants to be their friend and most have their hand out hoping to participate in your good fortune. This behavior isn’t limited to Filipino culture. It is common throughout the world.
Having a Westerner join the family is often like winning the lottery in the Filipino Culture. I don’t think the response in the Philippines is any different than most of the rest of the world.
Sharing is huge in the Filipino culture and seems to be universal. When a friend bought Juliet and gave her to me, the farmer that she bought it from had a mini-party. Inviting his friends over for a night of bonding. I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but this bonding usually includes significant amounts of Red Horse, San Miguel Beer and Tanduay. Friendship is also a major influence in Filipino culture.
Filipino often offer me food and drink when I walk around Bogo. They do this because it is part of Filipino culture.
Filipino are usually all about family and they often hang out at each others homes and come without invitation. Its not you. It isn’t because you’re a foreigner. It is because it is what many are use to doing. Now I’m not going to tell you how to react to that. Just don’t feel picked on. You may not be as important as you think you are! It is kultura Filipino or Filipino culture.
Probably the best way to avoid this if it concerns you is not live near your wife or girlfriends relatives.
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Filipino Culture — Bad Manners
I have seen foreigners complain about poor table manners. They may be bad to you but these are not bad traits to many Filipino! Filipino are not being rude in their culture and you are no longer living in your own culture. What makes you think your way is better? Because you were born into that. If you were born into a Muslim family, you’d probably be Muslim. It is what you know as proper. That doesn’t make it proper for everyone else.
Humility and Pride In Filipino Culture
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Now I understand when I’ve told a Filipino something they have is nice they will downplay it. I have seen this but didn’t understand it until just now. I’ve heard “Its not good” when I made a remark about something. I didn’t understand the reaction. Not good to me means bad. Now I understand they didn’t mean it was bad but they probably just didn’t want to feel proud.
Many Filipino do not return home every year though. The cost to do so is probably the main reason. I think most would like too.
Now I have a cute little story that just occurred between Jessie and myself. In one of the videos I published here, Jessie admits she is wrong. That is the only time Jessie has ever admitted that she is wrong. I made the comment someplace the only time she ever did was when the camera was running.
Last night Jessie told me that the Bogo would have a brownout at 8pm. She wasn’t sure if it was 8pm or 8am though. Since they didn’t turn the lights out at 8pm, it looked like we’d have an all day brownout in Bogo City today. It is now 9am and the lights are still on. I had told her I thought it was a textmate rumor. But I turned my PC off and the aircon down as far as I could get it. All to prepare for this dreaded brownout.
Jessie kept insisting the lights would be turned off. That it had been announced and even “The Professor” had confirmed it. The professor is a Filipino that lives in our compound. He is a dean at one of the local colleges and people call him “The Professor.”
After the lights failed to be turned off, Jessie discovered it was a “miscommunication” and I discovered a chance for my brand of fun.
I asked her if she was wrong. She said no, “It was a miscommunication. I then asked if she had told me that the lights would be turned off at 8am. She said “I did.” I followed up with asking if the information was wrong and she confirmed that it was wrong. So I asked again. “Were you wrong when you told me the lights would be turned off at 8am.” Her reply was “Hush, I wasn’t wrong. It was a miscommunication.”
Now I don’t know if all Filipina refuse to admit they are wrong but this one does, unless she is on camera. Filipino culture? I don’t know. Filipino culture is made up of individual Filipino of course.
There is a lot of pride packed into most Filipino but I agree that it is usually aimed toward their country and the Filipino culture. As there should be pride toward the culture of the Philippines.
Many Filipino will talk of helping their family. They tell me they want to earn more money so they can send it home to their family. I know a Filipina that works in a factory seven days a week. Her salary is about P4000 if she doesn’t earn overtime. She usually does though. She sends P4000 a month to her parents! That really does take a great deal of humility. Putting others before self. Sending money home is common in Filipino culture.
Filipina And Family
Yeah, you marry the family not just the girl. Unless you want to make it hard on your Filipina, this is part of living in the Philippines.
Families often have “Elders” that decide important family issues. I know Jessie was at one point very concerned about disapproval from the elders in her family. I have yet to figure out just exactly who these elders are. But we don’t live near her family. What I know is that this group is extremely important to her.
This devotion to family is a very strong part of the Filipino culture and I think we should envy it. I’ve noticed a huge decline in this value among many families in the USA.
Embrace and Learn From Filipino Culture
Frankly, if you’re the one that is voicing your opinions about the way of the Filipino and thus trashing the Filipino culture, you are the one that is rude. You cannot possibly visit another land and speak of rude Filipino and not be rude in doing so.
I think a lot of these perceptions of rudeness and other things Westerners don’t like about the Philippines is because they fail to understand Filipino culture. Or maybe they are just so full of themselves that they think their way is the right way.
If you’re living in the Philippines or even if you’re visiting here, embrace the Filipino culture.
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